• I was so lucky getting mono. That was like, the best diet ever.
• You are Columbus, I am America, Discover me!
• Hi, my name is Romy, and I'm an alcoholic.
• Would you excuse me.  I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.

Michele Weinberger

• You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.
• God this underwear is totally riding up my butt crack.
• Watch out Tucson here we come!
• Even though we've seen Pretty Woman, like, 36 times, I never get tired of making fun of it.
• Ordinarily when you make glue, first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you mix in expoxide.  Which is just a fancy shmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right.  Then I thought maybe, just maybe you can raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process.  And it turns out, I was right.
• Only if Romy can dance with us.
• I hope your babies look like monkeys.
• Do you think you can stop being such a baby?
• Which one of these guys will I have sex with at the reunion?

Heather Mooney

• This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
• Fuck off.